I knew that modern morality was doomed when my main reaction to news that a Brummie Islamic fundamentalist, Parviz Khan, planned to cut the head off a serving soldier in the city was not revulsion at the repugnant objective of the crime but the fact that he was claiming £1700 in benefits per month. That’s right the man who so hated us and our way of living, our toleration, our hospitality, our free healthcare and rule of law was on a fat £20k a year courtesy of you and me (well ‘you and me’ if you pay income tax…). But that’s probably the only serious bit in what is actually ‘Carry-on up the Khyber’ style farce.
The most heartening thing about these fanatics is that they’re only converted from peaceful Islam because they are idiots. And before someone comments that the 7/7 bombers were graduates etc, think how many people you know, or knew, at Uni and thought ‘how on earth did he get in?..’. On the whole they’re muppets, berks, utter losers. Khan was on benefits because he couldn’t get a job. A fundamental flaw in the global terrorist network seems to be that the people they attract are the kind of people that can’t even hold down a proper job. It’s a bit like MI:6 recruiting any smack-head doley they find simply because they are willing to attend the briefing meetings. Maybe this is why the security services gave him the comical code name of “Motorway Madness”.
A neighbour of Khan’s said he ‘used to see him in Pound-Stretcher a lot’ and ‘thought he was normal’. Those who know this cheerful little retail outlet will also know that on average there’s very little ‘normal’ about its regular patrons. Even so, with top quality economising like this going on no wonder Khan was able to use part of his £1700 big ones per month to send various military equipment to Afghanistan on a regular basis (the thought of a machine gun shaped brown paper parcel marked ‘Front Line, Afghanistan’ making its way through the Royal Mail system unchecked does make me chuckle).
Predictably for someone of Khan’s ability he had somehow (though sources remain mystically quiet why) managed to raise the suspicions of the security services who were taping his every word. The tiny bit that has been released is, quite frankly comedy gold.
One snippet reveals to us that Khan was afraid that he would be unfavourably judged by his god in death. By his own admission Khan’s achievements were as banal as a ‘handful of commanding performances in the Birmingham Coronation Sunday League’. Khan described his foot-balling ability in the highest order. Well not really the highest order, more excruciatingly average. He was heard to say of himself, ‘Brother was a good footballer… centre mid-field . . . it’s not going to be good enough is it’? I can’t claim to know the vast intricacies of the ancient and noble Islamic faith but I somehow suspect it won’t be.
But what do we really expect to happen when this city goes around doling out positions and honours to some very nasty people who paradoxically rely upon a mixture of screwed up Islam and Western free speech to preach a wholly intolerant message.
Take Birmingham City Respect Councillor Salma Yaqoob; Spokeswoman for the Chairman of Birmingham Central Mosque, Dr Naseem, the capricious conspiracy theorist and advocate of capital punishment for homosexuality, also a funder of her party Respect. She has written of her fantasy vision of Great Britain as an Islamic Republic which at the end would have Salman Rushdie, and presumably any other freedom loving individual, fleeing for his life.
A Respect colleague of hers is a certain Adam Yosef, columnist for Desi Xpress, a monthly pullout in The Asian Today Newspaper. A few years ago he sparked criticism when he questioned the level of commitment in gay marriage and described it as a ‘great way of evading tax’. He also said of Peter Tatchell, the gay rights campaigner, that he should take his ‘queer campaign army’ and ‘pack their bent bags and head back to Australia’. When Tatchell responded he was threatened with ‘beheading’, he would be “chopped up”, in accordance with “Islamic law” and put on a “hit list”. I am not saying for a second that this ‘promotion’ to the aforementioned ‘list’ had anything to do with Yosef but we all know what happened the last time a bunch of fanatics decided to make a list comprising who they wanted murdered on it. They took over Germany in 1933…
The Times recently reported that Sir Iqbal Sacranie, the head of the Muslim Council of Britain was asked on the BBC Radio 4 PM programme if homosexuality was harmful to society, he replied: “Certainly it is in moral issues. It is not acceptable. If you look into the scientific evidence…where homosexuality is practised there is a greater concern in that area.” In an example of just how skewed this mans argument is he has to appeal to science! Science and fundamentalist religion have never been the happiest of bed fellows.
What is unbelievable is that that man Yosef wasn’t sacked, The leader of the Birmingham Central Mosque, Dr Naseem, has recently been honoured by our very own university and Sir Iqbal continues to get political support from the government. They have responsibilities in these positions that they are breaching. We will never be able to stop the Parviz Khan’s of the world if we don’t take a tougher line on those in the public eye. The balance of free speech is a fine one, but one thing we don’t have to do I give these people honorary doctorates!
Incase one is thinking that this blog is in any was Islamophobic then I remind them that it is not anti-Islamic just anti-idiot. Not anti Burqa just anti Berk.