Local View: A Carry-On farce that won’t be funny one day.

I knew that modern morality was doomed when my main reaction to news that a Brummie Islamic fundamentalist, Parviz Khan, planned to cut the head off a serving soldier in the city was not revulsion at the repugnant objective of the crime but the fact that he was claiming £1700 in benefits per month. That’s right the man who so hated us and our way of living, our toleration, our hospitality, our free healthcare and rule of law was on a fat £20k a year courtesy of you and me (well ‘you and me’ if you pay income tax…). But that’s probably the only serious bit in what is actually ‘Carry-on up the Khyber’ style farce.

The most heartening thing about these fanatics is that they’re only converted from peaceful Islam because they are idiots. And before someone comments that the 7/7 bombers were graduates etc, think how many people you know, or knew, at Uni and thought ‘how on earth did he get in?..’. On the whole they’re muppets, berks, utter losers. Khan was on benefits because he couldn’t get a job. A fundamental flaw in the global terrorist network seems to be that the people they attract are the kind of people that can’t even hold down a proper job. It’s a bit like MI:6 recruiting any smack-head doley they find simply because they are willing to attend the briefing meetings. Maybe this is why the security services gave him the comical code name of “Motorway Madness”.

A neighbour of Khan’s said he ‘used to see him in Pound-Stretcher a lot’ and ‘thought he was normal’. Those who know this cheerful little retail outlet will also know that on average there’s very little ‘normal’ about its regular patrons. Even so, with top quality economising like this going on no wonder Khan was able to use part of his £1700 big ones per month to send various military equipment to Afghanistan on a regular basis (the thought of a machine gun shaped brown paper parcel marked ‘Front Line, Afghanistan’ making its way through the Royal Mail system unchecked does make me chuckle).

Predictably for someone of Khan’s ability he had somehow (though sources remain mystically quiet why) managed to raise the suspicions of the security services who were taping his every word. The tiny bit that has been released is, quite frankly comedy gold.

One snippet reveals to us that Khan was afraid that he would be unfavourably judged by his god in death. By his own admission Khan’s achievements were as banal as a ‘handful of commanding performances in the Birmingham Coronation Sunday League’. Khan described his foot-balling ability in the highest order. Well not really the highest order, more excruciatingly average. He was heard to say of himself, ‘Brother was a good footballer… centre mid-field . . . it’s not going to be good enough is it’? I can’t claim to know the vast intricacies of the ancient and noble Islamic faith but I somehow suspect it won’t be.

But what do we really expect to happen when this city goes around doling out positions and honours to some very nasty people who paradoxically rely upon a mixture of screwed up Islam and Western free speech to preach a wholly intolerant message.

Take Birmingham City Respect Councillor Salma Yaqoob; Spokeswoman for the Chairman of Birmingham Central Mosque, Dr Naseem, the capricious conspiracy theorist and advocate of capital punishment for homosexuality, also a funder of her party Respect. She has written of her fantasy vision of Great Britain as an Islamic Republic which at the end would have Salman Rushdie, and presumably any other freedom loving individual, fleeing for his life.

A Respect colleague of hers is a certain Adam Yosef, columnist for Desi Xpress, a monthly pullout in The Asian Today Newspaper. A few years ago he sparked criticism when he questioned the level of commitment in gay marriage and described it as a ‘great way of evading tax’. He also said of Peter Tatchell, the gay rights campaigner, that he should take his ‘queer campaign army’ and ‘pack their bent bags and head back to Australia’. When Tatchell responded he was threatened with ‘beheading’, he would be “chopped up”, in accordance with “Islamic law” and put on a “hit list”. I am not saying for a second that this ‘promotion’ to the aforementioned ‘list’ had anything to do with Yosef but we all know what happened the last time a bunch of fanatics decided to make a list comprising who they wanted murdered on it. They took over Germany in 1933…

The Times recently reported that Sir Iqbal Sacranie, the head of the Muslim Council of Britain was asked on the BBC Radio 4 PM programme if homosexuality was harmful to society, he replied: “Certainly it is in moral issues. It is not acceptable. If you look into the scientific evidence…where homosexuality is practised there is a greater concern in that area.” In an example of just how skewed this mans argument is he has to appeal to science! Science and fundamentalist religion have never been the happiest of bed fellows.

What is unbelievable is that that man Yosef wasn’t sacked, The leader of the Birmingham Central Mosque, Dr Naseem, has recently been honoured by our very own university and Sir Iqbal continues to get political support from the government. They have responsibilities in these positions that they are breaching. We will never be able to stop the Parviz Khan’s of the world if we don’t take a tougher line on those in the public eye. The balance of free speech is a fine one, but one thing we don’t have to do I give these people honorary doctorates!

Incase one is thinking that this blog is in any was Islamophobic then I remind them that it is not anti-Islamic just anti-idiot. Not anti Burqa just anti Berk.


7 thoughts on “Local View: A Carry-On farce that won’t be funny one day.

  1. I was also struck by the amount of benefits, followed by the old saying that idle hands are the devil’s tools. You mention that

    “well ‘you and me’ if you pay income tax”

    We all pay taxes all the time whether or not we’re wage earners. Take a flight, we pay tax directly. Drive a car, we pay tax directly. Have a few drinks, we pay tax directly. Most goods have VAT on them. Every time we spend money a proportion of that goes on that business’ payroll and corporation taxes. You can’t avoid tax by not working, but based on Parviz you can save a great deal of money…

    On the subject of Sacranie and how our beloved government’s flirtation with extremists, I recommend this further reading.

  2. Surely these people are entitled to their opinions on homosexuality just as much as you are, by lambasting them about their views you are in practice doing exactly the same as them – trying to undermine someone with a difference of opinion.

  3. Freedom of speech is precious Joe but prudent people in positions such as those mentioned in the blog are surely aware that their 14th century views (my opinion) can lead to plebs like Khan planning to cut someone’s head off…..My opinions don’t.

    It’s about balance. Something that these people don’t seem to get it. Disturbingly for a fellow member of my party neither do you.

    If one is entitled to their opinion then why are you beligernetly commenting on our blog? Surely following your own thinking you would have read my blog and simply shrugged your shoulders (which reminds me of that Martin Niemoeller poem, no offence..)

    Perhaps if you had anything to add on such a delicate subject you could add something a bit more fruitful than the standard 6th form response to any question on freedom of speech (namely ‘they are entitle to their opinion too….’).

    I’m sure the editor would be able to accommodate any blog you wanted to write.

  4. All that I am saying is that as much as we might trumpet our freedom of speech declaring ourselves to be the most people-accommodating netion on earth, when it comes to an opinion we don’t like, we criticise but never actually do anything about it. Look at the King of Suadi’s visit, how many people complained about it? But did anyone actually do anything but complain? No. People like this should get jobs and certainly shouldn’t get money, but it is a failure of our government that we are so accommodating due to the fact, that, to be honest, we as a nation are shit-scared of being accused of being racist.

    In my personal experience, if you ever do speak out at what you see as a gross misuse of rights and liberties granted by our nation, you are labelled some BNP wannabe! The blog actually talks about homosexuality, which, between faiths, is an increasingly devisive topic, but in my opinion nobody is wrong because its all down to personal choice, he can lambast anyone for being homosexual, you can support their rights as a person even if they are homosexual – but I would never say one is right or wrong, and I would never hope to find any middle ground, because there isn’t. All it comes down to is a difference of opinion, in my opinion he is wrong, I don’t personally feel very strongly about homosexuality because its never been a criteria of judgement for me, but I do have muslim friends who completely oppose it, I don’t say they’re wrong, I just say they can have that opinion, and are no doubt affected by their faith in their opinion, but to me it doesn’t make you any less of a person.

  5. I agree that everyone is entitled their own freedom of speech on topics, including homosexuality. Though I do not agree with discriminating/violence on homosexuals or any other group.

    I was amused to see that whilst Andy Dunbar described Islam as “peaceful”, he made no attempts to highlight its peacefulness or any “peaceful” Muslims. Rather it seems to highlight the negative aspects.

    In addition, it’s also important to highlight that a religion should be judged on its teachings rather then its “interpretations” and applications as not all believers are representative of their faith. Similarly, not all political leaders are truly representative of their party- they too have their own interpretation and subjective views.

  6. Sajida, I have not highlighted any of Islam’s ‘peaceful’ people because a blog that said that ‘my mates a Muslims and he loves gays’ wouldn’t be that interesting to read. I don’t know any high profile ones well enough. This is partly to do the constant negative image of Muslims that is portrayed in the media which I do consider to be totally unfair.

    I have not included any peaceful tenets of Islam principally because I am not an Islamic scholar and my ignorance prevents me. The blog was not intended to ever be an attack on Islam, merely a comment on the social issues that surround it. It is one of the short comings of blogging that many a rash statement has been released to the world without research. Perhaps you could put some of the peaceful tenets of your faith here in the comments section to balance it out?

    Praguetory, I am fully aware that we all pay tax on any purchase we make. Indeed, I’m expecting a tax on being alive soon. But I did say ‘income tax’ and not just tax. And that was what I meant.

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