This appeared in the Daily Mail recently I thought it was too good to miss out on:
Tony Blair’s grand tour of a grateful nation has been cancelled, due to lack of popular demand.
So he’s off globetrotting instead. He plans to visit France, Germany and a number of African countries over the next six weeks, while the British taxpayer is still picking up the bill.
Then it’s off to cash in on the American lecture circuit. I’m not the only one to remark that his farewell tour looks like lasting longer than Frank Sinatra’s. He’ll probably end up playing Vegas.
Lay-dees and gennul-men, give a big Caesar’s Palace welcome to Old Lyin’ Eyes himself.
(As always, it helps if you sing it.)
And now, the end is near
So I’m away
To earn top dollar.
My friends, I’m getting out
Before the Yard
Can feel my collar.
I’ve lived a lie for years
I’ve travelled First
I’ve taken freebies.
I’ve stayed
With my friend Cliff
And one of the
Bee Gees.
Regrets, I’ve none at all
Well, none that is
I’d like to mention.
I did what I had to do
And now I’m off
To count my pension.
Goodbye to Number 10
The Cabinet
And civil service
I leave
A Government
That’s not fit for purpose.
Yes, there were times
When there was doubt
I often thought
I’d get found out.
But through my teeth
I lied and lied
I shed a tear
When Diana died.
And when I thought
That I’d been caught
I blamed Lord Levy.
I’ve won three in a row,
I’ve spun,
I’ve told some stories.
And when It all went wrong
I blamed it all on the Tories.
To think they fell for that
And all along
I was roared on.
And now,
It serves them right,
They’re lumbered with
Gordon.
What have I achieved?
Why should I care?
I’ve got a house
In Connaught Square.
And now I’m free
To get very rich.
And that will please
The Wicked Witch.
My record sucks
But I’m making serious bucks
In a straight kinda guy way!
Are there any other songs you could suggest that should be played on the soundtrack of TBs long goodbye!